idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Randomize
