Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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