I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
