here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize
