so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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