my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
there's paper in my vomit.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Randomize
