i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
