Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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