You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
it's like heaven, but drunker
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
You were trust falling into bushes
Randomize
