The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
4 words: hood of his car
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
