All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
