i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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