I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
