Taylor Swift is so right about you.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
