at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
