plz talk dirty to me
There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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