Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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