This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
Randomize
