How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
