I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Nicole vs. Life
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
