Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
My vagina just recognized that song.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
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