Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
