so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
This baby is an asshole
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
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