I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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