just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
