David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
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