Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Randomize
