life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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