So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize