I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my poor anus
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
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