Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
