I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
