Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
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