come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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