hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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