im having a threesome with these popsicles
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
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Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
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Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
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