This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
i drank out of a bidet.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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