Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
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