i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
