i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Randomize
