I just made out with a guy for $7.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
