I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
