You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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