did you get engaged???
Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
