At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
He has the fingertips of a God
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
