PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Four minutes until I can fart!
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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