i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
