Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
i think i scared a bird with my dick
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Randomize
