im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
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I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
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EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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