So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
