If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize