I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I am naked and annoyed.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize
