I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Randomize