In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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