She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
