I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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