I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
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