That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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