Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
