i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
Michael Bay diarrhea
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
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and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
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Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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