When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
